“Own who you are.” These are 4 words my coworker said to me the other day. Simple right?
I haven’t been blogging much lately. I never want to force the process and write just for the sake of writing anyway but I’ve also been trying something the past couple of weeks: not thinking so much about well…everything. My blog (I hope) is about a lot more than just the inner workings of my mind, but I can’t deny that there’s a certain facet of it that starts to put me into over-thinking mode. I think I fully started to realize the great importance in just being. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t or won’t blog, but it means that in life, it’s ok to not analyze every little behavior I have. It’s ok to not be able to get to the root of everything. It’s ok to not be constantly trying to fix all the things I want to better about myself right away. I can just be.
It can be exhausting trying to live up to the kind of person we want ourselves to be. There’s no one else who puts that pressure on me other than myself. I want to be nice but not too nice. I want to stand up for myself, but not upset anyone. I want to inspire but not sound self-important or superior. I’m trying to squeeze myself into this little box sometimes. I’m trying to achieve this “perfect” balance of everything in order to be a better version of myself tomorrow than I was today.
So when my coworker said to own who you are, I wondered if I was really doing that. I had gotten so caught up in self-improvement that I think maybe I lost myself a little. Striving for this balance and focusing on it so intensely was stopping me from really living and being. I’ve been trying to assemble all of the puzzle pieces of myself instantaneously so I can see the finished picture. But which one of us can truly say that we’re a full, perfect puzzle? I’m pretty sure none of us. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still love and own who we are right now.
I had been talking with my friend Dustin about a list I wanted to make of all the reasons I accept and love myself for. So what better place to do it than here on my blog. I urge you try it. It’s quite enlightening!
I own and accept myself for:
- Being nice to everyone, even if they don’t necessarily deserve it
- Standing up for myself but also knowing which battles to pick
- Caring…about people, about the world, etc
- Having a disability
- Sometimes being upset I have a disability
- Not being perfect and not always saying the perfect thing
- Being a little over dramatic sometimes
- Making some dumb decisions in life
- Not being positive 24/7
- Being the kind of beautiful I am, even if it’s not what society deems as the standard
Just because we stop to say, “you know what, I own who I am!” doesn’t mean we have to stop trying to better ourselves either. Growing and learning are a constant part of life, they never stop. At least, I hope they don’t. But I can still sit here today and say, you know what? This is who I am…flaws and all. You can like it and accept it or not, up to you. I know that not everyone in life is going to like me. I could be “perfect” and there would still be people who wouldn’t like me. The important part is that I accept me.