It’s no secret that 2014 hasn’t been the best year in my life for a variety of reasons. I think it’s been made even tougher by the fact that 2013 was such an amazing and incredible year, especially around this time. I went from going to Seattle for the first time to a trip all over the US to my dream trip in Ireland. I always knew after I went to Ireland I would probably feel a little bit of “now what?” I checked off #1 on my bucket list so it leaves you feeling a little…empty almost.
I’ve done some travelling this year but it’s been on a much smaller scale. I went to Hawaii for barely 4 days (yes, I know I shouldn’t complain about that) and then Idaho for my best friend’s wedding. I just feel like I’m having travel withdrawls still. I don’t have the milestone of my first big trip on my own. I don’t have a dream trip to look forward to. I’ve been trying to make London happen because it’s another place I’ve wanted to go for a long time. But the clock is slowly ticking on the year and come January, we’ll be getting into busy season at work and I won’t be able to take any substantial time off.
It’s frustrating because I think this year is the year I feel like I need a trip the most. I need to get away and to refresh. I need to do something on my own to remind myself of how capable and strong I am. I need to get out of the monotony of the day to day. This is definitely the first year in my life where I’ve sort of craved solitude or doing things on my own. I’ve kind of just wanted to withdraw from people for a while and get to know myself again. That’s not to say I don’t love and appreciate my friends but sometimes I feel like I just need to unplug from the world and plug back in to myself.
I think about how I was last year and I certainly still had my rough patches, but I haven’t really liked who I am most of this year. I was so happy and upbeat last year. I’ve been irritated and angry a lot more than I’ve been happy and positive this year. I got my new job in January of this year which is the last time I can remember being truly high on life. I’m certainly working through everything and I’m hopeful the year will end on a positive note but I think I feel like travel might be able to fix some of the issues I’ve been having. Ultimately though, really the only thing that can truly remedy that is me. It doesn’t matter how far away I go, the only way that angry, irritated person is going to go away is if I try to overcome it, no matter where in the world I am. I think the bulk of what I miss last year isn’t necessarily the travel itself but more the way it made me feel and the way I felt overall throughout the year.
I still hope I’m able to fit some kind of trip in in the next 6 months. There’s still so much of the world for me to see and the only one who can make my travel goals come true is me. I just have to figure out a way to make it work and make it happen.