But I realized something…probably the most important thing. It’s easy to be happy and feel fulfilled when everything is going well. It’s when things get difficult that we’re really tested. That’s what can make us stronger and build us up. If we’re never challenged and things just sailed along, maybe we would be happy all the time but we would never grow or learn. True happiness doesn’t come from things always going right or always going the way we want them to. It comes from overcoming obstacles and learning how to cope.
So yes, this has been a pretty shitty year. I got into a bad car accident, my childhood home got broken into, my grandma isn’t doing as well as she did for so many years, I feel unsettled and I’ve been questioning a lot of things in my life. I may not see or feel the strength that’s going to come out of all of these things yet. I may not feel positive about the growth I’ve made or even know what that growth is, but I will. I’ll be sitting at my laptop in 2015 reflecting on this year and how much I struggled but I’ll be grateful I was tested so much and came out of it. Lord knows I know all the ins and outs of a car insurance claim now!
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still wish it was 2013 and wish I was going from one travel adventure to another. I wish I hadn’t gotten faced with my own mortality or that of my family. I wish that I hadn’t been shown how awful people can be to one another in such a big way. The hurdles have been stacked very high but I know it will feel that much better when I jump over them and reach the finish line.