I’m not very good at hiding how I feel on any given day, which is rather ironic because I’m not so great at actually talking about my feelings, especially with friends and family or in a relationship. If I’m having a bad day, pretty much everyone within a 100 mile radius can probably tell just based on the look on my face. I’m a very internal person…things are always swirling through my head which can be a real curse sometimes. I’m constantly trying to pull myself back into the present. When I’m having a bad day or am in a bad mood, I try my hardest to pull myself out of it, I really do, and I always try to tell myself to treat the world better than it’s treated me on those particular days.
One thing I admittedly never have done though is put myself in other people’s shoes when I’m in such a mood. Tonight, I did that. I pictured being that person who passes me at Target and sees a scowl on my face or even a friend or family member. That person doesn’t know what’s going on in my head. They don’t know the reason for me being upset, angry or hurt. They just see someone who looks mad at the world and when you’re dealing with friends, coworkers or someone like that, who’s to say they won’t think that they’ve done something wrong? And even if they don’t take it in a personal way like that, when you’re faced with negative energy like that, I think there’s no way for it not to rub off on that other person at least a little bit.
I’ve actually been in those people’s shoes before too. In fact, I think we’ve all been on the receiving end of someone having a bad day or being totally pissed off at something that actually had absolutely nothing to do with us and I think many of us have also asked ourselves if we did something wrong to annoy the other person or make them mad. I think we’ve all felt that pang and residual affect from their bad mood rub off on us. I’m ashamed to say that I never put two and two together on this. I never thought fully about how what’s going on in my head might manifest onto another person, a person who completely doesn’t deserve it.
Now I’m not advocating we should all try to be perfect and never let our emotions show on the outside, that’s just not possible (or healthy). I’m still going to have bad days and have a hard time hiding it, I know that. I think the best we can do is go in with the knowledge that how we feel inside can very much appear to others on the outside. I think we can be cognizant of the fact that how we feel does in fact affect those around us sometimes. So maybe we’ll never be 100% at being able to smile even when inside we’re frowning, but I think the best we can do is try. Sometimes being aware is half the battle. 🙂