Treat Yoself

No I didn’t make a typo in that blog title. All my Parks and Rec fans will recognize it. A friend of mine posted this online today and it was a really great reminder for me (minus the lack of a comma in “Its”…I’m a proofreader, can’t turn it off!) and hopefully will be for you guys also.

Treat People

In keeping with the not taking things personally, I think this is a great reminder on the same level. We are all going through things that 99% of the people around us probably have no idea about. We have past pain, current pain, a plethora of bad experiences and who knows what else all swirling around in our brains and swimming in our pool of emotions. I think when someone is rude or treats us poorly it’s easy to forget that. We automatically assume we must have done something wrong or said something stupid. I have a person who does this on a frequent basis with me. Sometimes, not going to lie, it makes me want to cry. But I have to remind myself not to take it personally because it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I think a lot of with disabilities are unfortunately really used to being teased or treated poorly and it’s hard, if not impossible, to not take that personally.

I don’t think this idea means people should be excused from treating others poorly…definitely not. Conversely, I don’t think it’s meant to say everyone else is horrible and we’re super awesome because that person treated us badly. But I think we can use the knowledge it brings for our own good. So we aren’t constantly beating ourselves up so often. So we can be kinder to ourselves. I think simply understanding that the other person is a flawed human being just like us and understanding they might have bigger things going on in their life that leads them to lash out can bring a lot of inner calm. Life is short and there are so many moments that might come up at the hands of other people that try to rob us of our happiness. That unfortunately will never change. But what can change is our reaction to it. Our ability to let it permeate that happiness. It’s an uphill battle for sure, but I think it’s one worth fighting.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Treat Yoself

  1. Hey Jackie,
    My name is Aishani, and I’m an occupational therapy student at Loma Linda University. Thank you for the video and sharing your experience with us through Sharon Pavlovich. As I was reading through your blogs, I connected to this one right away. I go on this website called elephant journal everyday to read about health and wellness tips and mindful life (just a fun read). Few days ago I came across A simple Self-Care tips for bad days and burnout (http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/03/a-simple-self-care-tip-for-bad-days-burnout/)

    As you mentioned in your blog people might lash out on us as they might be going through themselves, but that does not give them right to use us as a punching bag. Often times we try and tell ourselves, “may be they were having a bad day” and let them behave and walk away with it. I have realized that taking care of ourselves in this kind of situation definitely is the most important step to take. I have often informed the other person how they have hurt me by their actions/words and remove myself from the situation to take care of myself as oppose to carry on with a conversation (I do come back to continue the conversation after the other person is all calm down)

    It is very easy to loose our happiness based on how others actions impacted us, but sadly we don’t have control over others behavior but we do have control over our mind and heart. I try and nurture both of them on daily basis to be in touch with myself. Be mindful about each day as it comes and celebrate them. Thank you once again for your blogs and am looking forward to read more.

    1. Hi Aishani. Thanks so much for the comment. I’m definitely going to check out Elephant Journal (and the link you shared). I admire your approach with people that have hurt you also. I hate confrontation so much (even with my closest friends) so I’ve always tried to avoid but I’m working on being better about sharing my feelings with people instead of bottling it up. You’re completely right too. We can never control other’s behavior, the only thing we can control is ourselves and how we react to situations that come up in life.

  2. I loved this post! It was such a reminder to myself I think. I am a graduate student studying Occupational Therapy, and I know I definitely have many bad and stressful days from school. It’s crazy because grad school was a DREAM for me while I was in undergrad. I remembered thinking, when I get into grad school… I am going to be so freaking happy. And then I finally got in, and here I am… stressed and tired. I lash out on my family who deserves nothing but my appreciation and love. I stress relived on my boyfriend by always saying he has no idea what I’m going through because he doesn’t go to school and wouldn’t understand. Just so many unnecessary emotions placed onto other people who deserve nothing but kindness, like you said!

    This reminder, I feel like, is completely meant for me. I think I take others around me for granted. I loved how you pointed out that when others are mean to you, you assume it’s not you and it’s just because they’re probably having a bad day because that angry person is probably me…! So thank you for that. It reminded me to not lash out, and to treat others around me with nothing but love even in the midst of my own struggles.

    Sincerely, Alice.

    1. Thanks so much for such an open and thoughtful response Alice! I think at the end of the day, we’re all human. We all have bad moods and will lash out at people, myself included. I’ve had plenty of angry at the world moments because I’ve had a bad day or because I was born with a disability. But I think just being aware of how much of a difference treating others with kindness can do is a huge step in the right direction! None of us will ever be perfect or happy 100% of the time but the little bits of kindness we do share can go a really long way!

  3. Hi Jackie! Thank you for your message. I think you have a great point when comparing yourself to others. We are not that different from each other. I once thought on the fact that every single person on this earth has a great story to tell. They have gone through many struggles and victories. No matter how big or how small, in perspective, it’s meaningful to them. I can see that you have had a moment to reflect on that. I am totally encouraged to see that you are constantly finding light where many may feel hopeless. I understand that you have had a long time to reflect and make sense of your life with MD but I can see that having MD has not made you entitled nor angry, but it has helped you think deeper and love others as you love yourself. I really appreciate your ability to think within yourself and understand that you are not the only person in this world that has difficult lifelong circumstances. Thank you for sharing your experience and for showing me humility and understand.

    1. Hi Victor. Thanks so much for your encouraging feedback. I definitely can still have angry moments here and there (usually at body’s inability to do something or do it well) but overall I am actually very grateful for having MD. I know it’s helped make me who I am and has given me a great platform to hopefully help others! When I was younger I unfortunately had more the mindset of I had the worst set of circumstances handed to me and no one else could possibly understand what I was going through and that type of thing but thankfully I’ve learned and grown, one of my favorite things about life 🙂

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s