On Being Sick

I’ll be the first to admit I am a giant baby when I get sick. Not necessarily in the “Wah wah pitiful me” kind of way but more in the “This sucks. I’m pissed and I hate the world” kind of way. It’s hard to even lay in bed and watch TV because I can’t think about anything other than the fact that I’m sick and wonder when I’m going to get better. And it absolutely never fails that I get sick at the worst possible times…this particular time being 4 days away from when I’m supposed to go home for Thanksgiving.

I’ve been so good about taking better care of myself lately. Eating better, going to water aerobics. My immune system should be in fine shape so I feel like this sickness is a punishment. Another example of how unlucky I am in life sometimes (please see giant baby remark at the beginning of this post). This is like the 4th time I’ve been sick this year. In previous years when I was eating worse and not exercising, I only got sick once.

On top of that, being sick gives me way too much time to sit around and mope and think about things. It’s also like looking into a giant glaring mirror of what’s missing in my life. I don’t have anyone to take care of me. I needed lemons today to make some lemon water to try combat this nasty sore throat but I was reminded I don’t have that special person in my life to take care of that for me when I’m too sick to get it myself. My parents are too far away so I’m left to fend for myself. It’s so frustrating. I’m the first to admit I like to try doing things for myself and not relying on someone, especially a man, but when I’m sick, it makes me sad I don’t have someone for this isolated situation to help out.

I’m trying to stay positive that it’s going to be ok and I’ll get better quickly but I’m also afraid to even say that because in the past, I’ve thought that way and it hasn’t turned out better or ok. So all I can do is just hope for the best. Hope that I’ll be well enough to enjoy some vacation time with my family and a nice meal with them on Thursday. I may not be able to swing positivity but at least I can try for some hope.

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