One of the things that drives me the most nuts about my disability is that it’s always there. Literally in every facet of my life it’s there (and is usually an issue). Going to a baseball game. Meeting new people. Dating. Disneyland. Getting my groceries into the house. The list goes on and on.
I have plenty of days when I wish I could just turn my MD off. I wish I could go to a baseball game like everyone else and not have to watch how much liquid I consume because I won’t be able to get up the stairs to go to the bathroom without help. I wish I could just meet new friends and go on dates without having to address the limp I have or why I have trouble getting out my chair. I can’t tell you how much I dream about being able to go upstairs like a person who doesn’t have holes in all of their muscle cells.
My best friend made a great point on this topic when she was out visiting last month. It was, of all places, at a baseball game. I was telling her how I wish I could just enjoy simple things like a baseball game like a person who didn’t have a disability. To not have to stress about getting up the stairs (I say that realizing I could request the accessible seats but then I’d have to deal with justifying my disability so sometimes the stairs are the less infuriating option). Her response was “I can only imagine, but the good thing is you get out and do things. You don’t let it hold you back.” I’d never really thought of it that way. I get so bogged down by focusing on the negatives of my MD sometimes, that I forget to look at what I’m actually doing about it. The positive ways I’m dealing with it in my life. I get frustrated yes, but there have probably only been a handful of times in recent years where I’ve ever said no to something because of my MD. I never want to let it hold me back from doing things I want to do.
Life is all about perspective so yes, I have this slightly annoying physical difference that causes me to need to do things a little differently or can make things harder sometimes. Yes it’s always there but the important part is what I do with that. I’m never going to be able to change having MD, but I can change and control how I live with it. Wallowing and being afraid to do anything aren’t options for me. I stress that I’m not including things like jumping out of a plane in that assertion. That’s just “plane” crazy 🙂 I have to still get out there and live my life, even if I’m living in a different way than other people are. Thanks for that bff!