“What’s New With You?”

The question I most dread when catching up with people. Mostly because the answer is always the same: “Nothing.”

Somewhere along the way, it became the favored position to have a life that’s forever changing, especially with my generation. When I see people from my parent’s generation for example, it’s perfectly acceptable to have had the same job for 20+ years or live in the same town or whatever. Maybe it’s because I’m still in the youngish generation and that’s when you’re supposed to be moving around and going through all these changes, but whenever I tell people that everything is the same, I always feel just a little bit inadequate. I’m not dating anyone. I live in the same place. I have the same job. If I have anything new to report on, it might just be travels of some sort (which is still pretty awesome on its own).

I admittedly find a lot of comfort in things staying the same. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I think this attitude can undoubtedly be attributed to my MD. Change = the unknown. The unknown = potentially difficult or even harmful situations for me. But at the end of the day, I also like where I live. I like my job. I’m happy not to be dating. But there’s always that question buzzing around in the back of my mind…”am I supposed to be wanting/striving for more in change in my life?” “Should I be trying to move to another state or even country?” “What if I end up being 40 and single? Will I still be happy to not be dating then?” “Maybe it would be easier if I had a significant other to help take care of me”. On the job thing, I feel proud of the years I’ve built at the company I work at. A lot of people in their 20s and 30s like to jump around more. After a couple of years, they’re on to the next thing. They want to be an executive, maybe even a CEO…something that’s not even remotely on my ambition radar, nor will it probably ever be.

I’m a huge proponent of internal change…growing as a person. I like looking back and being grateful for the person that I am now versus the person I used to be. I like to reflect on all of the things I’ve learned. But when it comes to external change, I have trouble deciphering how much change I really want, how afraid of it I am and/or if it’s just societal pressure I’m putting on myself. There are definitely times when I’d like to be able to say “Oh I’m doing this great new thing” or “I’m moving into an apartment on my own again” or something like that. I wish I had more of the answer I think people are looking for when I get that question. But I also just think I’m pretty damn content with where I am. There’s that part of me that always likes going against the proverbial grain anyway. I was born with a limp and a super rare disability. Why not be different in a bunch of other ways too? At the end of the day, after all, the only thing that really matters is if I’m happy, no matter what the answer to the question might be.

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12 thoughts on ““What’s New With You?”

  1. Hello Jackie,

    I think its interesting that you bring up this topic. I like to blame this on social media. lol I say that only because social media allows us to constantly compare ourselves to our “friends”. Gives us a false glimpse of reality. You are absolutely right about people now days in their 20’s and 30’s hopping from one job to the next. They call it the entitlement age group. We are never satisfied. We want to be on top at all times. I think its awesome that you are happy with your life and your job, something that most people don’t seem to be. You bring up great topics! Next time someone ask me what I’ve been up too, I’ma tell them I’ve been GREAT! if they ask me why, I will reply, “Because I am me!”.

    1. Hi Porsche. Thanks for the comment! I think you have a great point. Social media has a lot to do with it. You see everyone else’s highlight reel and start comparing your life so you feel like you have to have cool stuff going on all the time. I actually pretty strongly disagree with the label we get of being entitled. None of my friends or people I know my age are entitled at all. I’m sure there are people in our age group who are, but I’ve actually found that people in the baby boomer generation or the parents of baby boomers are much more entitled. I love your answer for when people ask you how you’ve been doing too! I might have to use that one myself sometime 🙂

  2. Hi Jackie! It is very refreshing to read your blog! I want to commend you for being able to decipher and acknowledge of doing things that promote well-being and happiness for yourself! Often times when we cater to what society expects us to do, it is not in our favor. External change presents limits, yet internal change has no bounds! Hands down, internal trumps external. Continue to be the beautiful & inspirational woman you are! God Bless!!!

  3. Hi Jackie,
    First all, reading your post made me very happy because I can see that I am not alone on this topic. I am not a big fan of change! Change is scary, and at times I just like to stay in my own little box with things that are familiar. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, but so far it has worked out ☺. Moreover, I think people sometimes paint a picture that’s not really true. Yea you can have a lot of things or do a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean you are happier or better than anyone else. I always think its better to be true to yourself instead of following the crowd. In the end one has to do what makes one happy, and if that means being “different” then so be it!

  4. Hi Jackie,

    I agree with you 100%, why change anything if its not broken? If this life is working for you, you are happy, and do not have a desire to change, then staying right where you are is fine. I believe it means you truly know who you are and are content with that. You should continue to stay true to yourself and live your life the way it makes you happy! It is your life and you should live it under your own conditions, no one else should change that!

  5. Hi Jackie,

    Your blog post is refreshing because one might argue that you’ve already found the best if what you’re experiencing doesn’t make you look around for more. Change isn’t always good and if something makes you content and is morally well, why try something different? At the same time, I think if you’re wondering about what a little change would be like, I suggest dipping one toe in at a time. Exploration doesn’t mean you are conforming or no longer different. Perhaps your new discovery in change will be adopted into your daily routine and before long, it won’t be considered “change” anymore. Thank you for sharing and for being steadfast and true to your identity 🙂

  6. Hi Jackie!

    I really enjoyed reading your blog post! I too often dread this question because most of the time I really have nothing new to report. I think our society often steers us to believe we must be doing the next most innovative thing to make living worthwhile. However, if we are constantly externally changing or chasing that “next best thing” then we never practice contentment. I also really liked how you highlighted how you prefer internal change versus external change. External change is easy. We can always go out and change our hair, buy a new outfit, or try something new– and although those are great, it is internal change that really defines a person. The ability to be introspective and understand one’s internal self is an immense gift and it outlasts any external change we decide to do in this life. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and I look forward to reading more posts to come!

  7. Hi Jackie!
    I enjoyed reading your post and getting better insight into so many topics you cover on your blog. I am very much a person of habit, comfort, and I do not enjoy change. It can be very hard for me in my own life to put myself out of my comfort zone or put myself in a situation where I experience a lot of change. Although I have gone through these types of experiences and seasons of life, I feel a sense of relief to come back to my home. I really like how you incorporated the focus of internal change more than external change. It truly is what is inside us and how the experiences we go through, whether that includes change or not, define us as individuals and push us to become better versions of ourselves. When we are able to recognize a change in ourselves, it helps us to understand who we are better and what roles we want to have in the next seasons of our lives. Thank you for this post! It really made me think about the internal changes I feel like I have gone through and continue to go through everyday.

  8. Hello Jackie,

    I enjoyed reading your blog post and feel like I can definitely relate to it. I too find comfort in things staying the same and am not a fan of change. I feel that as long as I am growing internally as a person, external change is not as essential. We put this pressure on ourselves because we hear of others going through so much change, especially as young adults. When in fact, most of these young adults are in the process of “finding themselves”. I believe that once a person stops comparing themselves to anyone else, change won’t feel as necessary. Sure, there are some who crave change and adventure more than others. But for the most part, I believe change comes naturally with time. I have been in school for years and there has not been any change in my life recently, but it is okay. One day things will not be the same as they are at this very moment, so we might as well enjoy the ride. All that matters is that we are happy :).

  9. Hey Jackie!

    Isn’t it frustrating to have that societal pressure, to have to constantly be changing, as to think that if everything is the same, you are no longer moving forward in life? I don’t think it’s a problem to say nothing has changed. That means you are where you want to be at your current state in life. I love that you are a proponent of internal change. That’s probably one of the healthiest and liberating thing a person can do. If a person is changing the outside environment, but lacks to change themselves internally, are they even moving forward in life, or are they simply masking an element that they are unhappy with? Thank you so much for your post it was a nice read! Take care! ☺

  10. Hey Jackie,

    As I was reading your post, I couldn’t help but think of how many people truly connected with your thoughts about this overused question. It’s totally a societal/generational thing! I can’t say I haven’t used it before because I definitely have, but it’s so awkward to be on the receiving end of it. It’s almost like an exciting answer is expected but I just have nothing to give. Even if I did have something exciting to say, I feel like my idea of something interesting isn’t enough to keep their attention. Ultimately, I love that you talk about internal change. It matters so much more than that something “new” that may or may not be going on with me. I feel like being content tends to be looked down upon and that we should always be looking for that bigger or better experience. If you are content and happy with what you have, own it! Being able to reflect and see how much growth as taken place on a personal level is so beautiful and rewarding. Don’t let society twist and minimize it. At the end of the day, the people who care about that internal growth are the ones worth talking to anyways. Thanks for sharing!

    -Fabi

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