On Aging

There are a lot of things people don’t warn you about or that you can never really be prepared for when it comes to getting older. Yes you get to know yourself better. Yes it’s nice to be in control of your life and make your own decisions. But you also have to watch more and more people die around you. Your body starts to have more problems. Your metabolism slows down. You have to think about things like finances and insurance. You get to make your own decisions which means life is often full of a lot more pressure. You have to try find a work-life balance. You have to start thinking about your own plans for when you get into senior citizen territory (especially if you’re single and an only child).

This doesn’t even include all of the things that happen when you have a disability and get older. But because of all of these factors, I’ve found myself craving to be younger again more and more. Not permanently, but what I wouldn’t give for a few days to go back and just be a kid again. To not have to be responsible for much else besides homework. It wasn’t like I was super happy back then either. I struggled immensely with myself and my self-esteem; something that’s vastly improved now. But I still long for that time when there wasn’t so much pressure. When there weren’t so many big decisions I was constantly having to make. When there wasn’t so much at stake. When my grandparents were still alive.

It’s one of those things that I guess can never really be taught. No textbook can really sum it up adequately. But I do wish it was something people talked about more when we’re younger. Not necessarily in a doom and gloom kind of way, but in a “look this is what’s going to happen but it’s going to be ok” kind of way. I don’t know, maybe no one can really ever fully prepare you for what comes along as you gradually get older, and maybe that’s why no one really talks about it. But there’s no doubt it’s super hard and takes a lot of will power and attempted positivity to deal with. Basically the moral of the story is appreciate where you’re at I guess. When you’re a kid, don’t be in a rush to be older. Enjoy being young and not having to worry about work or insurance or making big life decisions. And when you’re an adult…well I’m still working on that 😊

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