The original intent I had for this post has certainly taken a turn in light of recent events. I never could have imagined that I would be sitting at my parents’ house during a global pandemic, staying inside for as long as is needed until this all blows over. Of course, there are a lot of things I never would have imagined that could happen during my lifetime: Columbine, 9/11, the 2008 recession, a narcissistic reality TV star with bad hair being elected to run the country. But here we are.
When you’re living with a disability, going out and doing things can be a big challenge. Even with simple things like going to the grocery store, I have to think about parking, make sure I’m taking all the precautions I can not to fall, make sure my bags aren’t too heavy so I can get them into the car. Things like going to someone’s house I’ve never been to before, I have to think about stairs, how low their seating options might be, how low the toilet it. Going to an amusement park, I have to research what their policies are for people with disabilities, find out which rides have stairs, and what I need to do to avoid those. I think this is a big reason why I’m such a detail-oriented person. I’ve had to be my whole life. Without the details, I could find myself in a bad situation I can’t get out of or even worse, end up hurting myself.
I’d love to be a super spontaneous person who can just take off and do stuff. I’ve done it a couple of times in my life and one time it turned out fine and one time it definitely did not. But overall, I have to plan. I have to have as much knowledge ahead of time and sometimes I’m just not going to feel up to it. Maybe I’m tired or I’m sore or the anxiety of having to figure it all out is just too much. It’s not easy to say “no” to things but sometimes for my own sanity, I have to. Sometimes I just have to give my body a break.
With the coronavirus pandemic, I’m now staying indoors all the time and not having to worry about going places because that’s the safest thing for myself and for others. I have enough food to hold me over for a while and I signed up for Freshly to get some more things. I’m hoping the shopping panic will die down and I’ll be able to get a few other things delivered when I need them. It’s funny that now I’m missing/appreciating the most basic things like going to the grocery store or Target on the weekends, even though those would stress me out before. I know I’m going to miss going to work these next couple of weeks even though I know it’s for the best. I’m super fortunate to work for such a great company and be able to work from home and still get a paycheck.
These are crazy times and I hope we can stay well, get the supplies we need, the food we need, be considerate of each other, stay home when we can, afford to take care of ourselves and our family. I hope this will bring out the best of us instead of the worst and I hope we never have to deal with anything like this again.
For now, I’m going to try appreciate the change. To appreciate being able to spend more time with my parents. To have a break in the normal 9-5 work schedule and the commute. Thanks to the internet, we can still all be connected to each other even when we’re not seeing each other in person. There’s a lot of things we can order. I’m not minimizing what’s going on at all, just trying to find ways to ease the anxiety cause lord knows I have enough of that already.
Stay well everyone ❤