Self-Isolation: Week 7

I saw an article pop up on one of the many sites I’ve been browsing during quarantine. It said 2020 is now the year of nostalgia. It struck me just how true that is. We can’t live for a future anymore because we don’t know what that future looks like. We can only live in the present and be nostalgic for the past.

There are so many things I wish I would have done differently if I’d known this was coming. I wish I’d gone to more concerts (though 2019 was a really good concert year which I’m forever grateful for). I wish I would have done more at Disneyland when I went at Christmas time last year. I wish I’d traveled more (though again, immensely grateful we were able to take our trip last year). I wish I’d realized just how precious a happy hour with friends was. I always savored them and enjoyed them, but not from the perspective of thinking that may be something I would lose in the future. I wish I’d been able to move out on my own so I didn’t have to be overwhelmed with stress about having to put my faith and my health in someone else’s hands. I wish I’d gotten another LA trip in. There are so many things, big and small, that I wish I’d done.

But none of us knew this was coming (well, some of us knew in November and chose not to do anything about it). I know all the things I’m missing will be back eventually. It just feels kind of like life the way we knew it is over. We can’t go back to a time when we didn’t worry about a pandemic, which maybe is a good thing. I still wish this hadn’t happened but I will say that it definitely makes you take a hard look at what you really need and don’t need.

I’ve realized that the anger I always had for people who drove like assholes or acted like they were more important than everyone else (aka people who park in handicapped spots that don’t need it) has now redirected to people who are ignoring the stay at home orders or who aren’t wearing masks when they’re out. It’s directed at states that didn’t lock down fast enough and are now trying to reopen, putting those of us who have been doing the right thing, and doing it for a while, at risk. It’s directed at the idiotic protesters who have been indoors for a barely a month in some places and are calling it “slavery”. It’s directed at everyone who went to the beach last weekend and the cities who chose to reopen them.

It’s extremely discouraging that during a global pandemic, people here still can’t manage to be selfless. People have lost their jobs, their health insurance. People in essential jobs are risking their health every day. Yet a lot of people act like it’s the most heinous crime to be asked to stay home to save people’s lives and can’t be bothered. This was a test that I think a lot of the country failed.

I want to end on a more positive note though. If you need a pick-me-up at any point right now, I highly suggest “Some Good News” with John Krasinski on YouTube. It’s cheered me up on the even the worst of days. Here’s the 1st episode he did (there’s 5 in total I think):

4 thoughts on “Self-Isolation: Week 7

  1. Love this, Jac! Today I was thinking about my co-worker , who in early February said offhandedly “Have you heard about this coronavirus?” in the same way she would ask me if I’d heard the latest Real Housewives gossip. I’m nostalgic for the version of myself, then, who had no clue of what was coming. Like you, I’m incredibly grateful for all the traveling I’ve been able to do…but in low times I’ve always cheered myself up by looking forward to the next trip – and right now there is nowhere safe to go. Except New Zealand, because they’re awesome and (coincidentally?!) have a fearless female leader. It’s easy to remind myself to be calm and just breathe, but hard as hell to do it sometimes. Thank you for writing posts that make me think, and make me feel connected.

    1. Thanks Carolee. Your comments always make me feel so encouraged and understood which means so much right now. I remember my roommate’s friend was over back in January and she asked if I had heard about this virus in China that killed so many people. I was sad for them but had no idea what was coming. You’re totally right about planning for the next trip too. It’s hard to not even be able to plan one because we don’t know when it’s going to be safe to again. I will say though New Zealand moved way up on the list after this! I’m happy to support their economy and would certainly feel safe going to a country that knows how to handle this kind of crisis.

  2. SGN has been such a fun distraction (my fave so far has been the Hamilton reunion!). I had thought 2020 was going to be my year after a truly abyssmal 2019. . . Nope. I guess we just keep looking forward, even if forward is, at least to us so far, fuzzy and uncertain. Keep taking good care!

    1. I loved that too! Made me cry. I was thinking about you guys as I wrote this. You truly had a totally shit 2019 and deserved so much better than what this year has given. Lots of love and hope for a great 2021 for you and the family

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