I thought maybe I would devote a blog to something other than letting out my frustration about the current state of our country and COVID. Even though that frustration is still very much present and probably will be until there’s some sort of solution to all of this.
I’ve been single for a while now and the pandemic has actually only cemented my contentedness with that status. It’s not like it’s safe to go on dates right now anyway and having some kind of video chat date just seems silly so for the first time, I haven’t felt even an ounce of pressure to be out there dating and trying to find a relationship. When I see the Hinge or Match or E-Harmony commercials, I don’t even flinch anymore.
I can’t even imagine being in a relationship during all of this either. If you live together then you’re together all the time now with little to no break. If you don’t, then you weren’t even able to see each other during the lock down and have to be extra careful with everything now. For me personally, I’ve never been more grateful that I only have to worry about myself right now.
The same goes for not having any kids. That’s something I’ve always been 100% solid on, the fact that I don’t want to have any, but this has made that choice feel even more right. I know all my friends and coworkers who have kids love them dearly and that was the right choice for them, but I know it’s had to be incredibly hard to have their kids home all day now and try to get them through online learning too, especially for those parents who work too.
This whole situation is so overwhelming and stressful that I can’t imagine having to try maintain a relationship and family. I admire everyone who is doing all of that right now, I just have a hard enough time getting my own shit together, and it’s honestly a relief not to feel any self-imposed or societally-imposed pressure to be dating again or getting married or whatever. I don’t have to attend events anymore where I get the inevitable “are you seeing anyone?” question and then feel like I have to come up with some kind of perfect answer as to why I’m single, and then try to convince the other person that I really am happy not being in a relationship.
I would still trade all that in for COVID not to be around again but since I can’t, I’ll take any kind of silver lining I can get. It is weird to feel like your whole life is stalled. You can’t move forward or make any kind of progress and for a lot of my friends and I, we are at that age where we want to be getting our own place or getting married or having kids. Everyone who is taking this seriously has had to make some kind of major sacrifice with everything going on and for my generation, this is ours. I’m just fortunate I don’t feel like I’m missing out on marriage and kids since those aren’t things I wanted anyway.