It’s safe to say that these last few months have been the worst mental health months I’ve had in a long time. Even worse than during the worst of COVID (who thought that could be possible?). Life has a way of not turning out the way you expected or hoped. It doesn’t mean there aren’t super valuable lessons in there, or that it’s not making you more resilient, but it really sucks at the time.
I’m dealing with one of the most challenging people and situations I’ve ever had to deal with. Once again as a single female being on her own, I’m being forced to have to stand up for myself and not be bullied. The last couple of weeks were especially bad. I was at the place of overwhelm where my brain tells me I just can’t do this anymore. I was hardly eating, a result I see super clearly on my body now when I look in the mirror. I couldn’t focus at work and could barely get out of bed. I wasn’t excited to do anything. I just wanted to go home and hug my parents and have this all be over. Sometimes a wrong decision can have way more of an impact than you can even realize.
But what this whole mess did show me was just how much support I have around me. I had friends bring me and send presents that would lift my mood. I got phone calls and text messages. I got helpful advice. My neighbor fixed my car for me. I got those big hugs from my parents. Things may be a bit shit right now but I’m unbelievably grateful for the kindness of those around me.
I don’t know how this whole thing is going to turn out, but I do know I have the greatest support group around me while it all unfolds.