Positivity Project – Day 18

I’ve been slacking a little on the positivity posts here. It’s been a busy couple of weeks again. Today was a day worth sharing and then some though. Today I met an adorable little boy with MD (central core like me in fact) named Jace. His mom and I have been talking online for a while now and the whole family was out visiting the area. This was the first time I’d actually met, not just someone else that I’ve been talking to from another state that was affected by MD, but the first time I’d actually met someone else with central core. When you have a disability, you don’t often see yourself reflected in others. Not in a really specific way at least. Whenever I see people who limp or are in a wheelchair, I always wonder if they have MD too and there’s always this inner feeling of connectedness that I have with them. But when you see your younger self reflected in someone else and find that you’ve had many of the same struggles and challenges, there’s really not a feeling like it in the world. When I was younger I always wanted to meet someone just like me, and my 31 year old self finally had that dream realized.

It was so nice to just sit with an entirely new group of people and not have to worry about explaining why I was getting off the bench the way I was or why I limped. We all just understood it. They were so incredibly kind and gracious and thanked me several times for meeting with them because of how much it could help Jace. But in reality, he was helping me just as much. The older I get, even as I get more confident in myself, it’s still a daily struggle to accept my MD. And this year, with increasing health problems (some of which have zero to do with MD anyway) and realizing my body can’t quite do what it used to, weight gain, etc., I’ve had a hard time accepting my MD. I’ve even hated it sometimes. But meeting Jace gave me renewed hope. It reminded me why I started telling my story and why I blog. I’ve never been one of those people that thought too much about their purpose. I’ve always wanted to help people in some way, shape or form, but I’m not constantly seeking things I’m passionate about or anything. I’m easily contented. But today really helped cement the fact that if I have any purpose at all, it’s to make other people with disabilities (and maybe even some without) feel a little less alone. I think we can all benefit from feeling less alone in this big world of ours. I know for me today, I felt very very not alone. I thank the wonderful family I met today for that 🙂

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One thought on “Positivity Project – Day 18

  1. Hi Jackie,

    This is such a great post. I know I may not have the same conditions as you, but I can completely understand what you mean by “it was so nice not having to worry about explaining your scenario” and those people just got it. I went through a tough time and it was hard to deal with emotionally, so speaking with people who were aware of my situation was much more soothing than speaking to a stranger. Thus, I believe your post is relatable to so many different scenarios, not just MS. We each have our own obstacles and struggles, whether it is physical, mental, family struggles, etc. I believe it’s the perspective in which you view your scenario and how you can grow as an individual.

    I love how you were able to meet another individual with MS. I truly believe that just by interacting with you, you gave the boy a sense of peace and motivation! I love how you were able to not only provide support for him, but it was also reciprocated to you. Sometimes these instances are exactly as you put it, “renewed hope.” We occasionally need these reminders, and time to take a step back from our busy life to find these moments of “renewed hope.” Whether we have MS, depression, had a bad day, going through family struggles – whatever obstacle it may be, don’t forget to see what you are building and working towards. Thanks so much for sharing Jackie!!! You are truly such an amazing person with so many gifts to share with the world!

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